So normally I don’t post personal stuff here because I have nothing to say but ohhhh well!  This will be for posterity I guess.  Lately school and work have been raping my will to draw or make comics.  I do have one comic page finished that I’m going to put up here, also I have officially seen Avatar 4 times so don’t be surprised if this place becomes inundated with Avatar fanart once I get my scanner back.  This semester I am taking five classes again.  It makes me really nervous because I have retardedly high standards for myself which I haven’t really been meeting thanks to a lot of stress from work and a pending lawsuit between me and they-who-shall-not-be-named.

I was denied physical therapy for two months because they didn’t believe me when I said a Worker’s Comp case I won had already agreed to pay for it.  Now I’m not so sure I want to go back.  My knee is feeling fine, and though the common sense part of my brain is like “bitch, go back it will help you.”  The awkwardness of it all is just making me feel horrendously nervous.  Recently it’s been cleared up so I could go back if I want.  I have also been encountering some serious self-esteem issues.  Some teachers have said some stuff that makes me feel sort of hopeless.  As if my attempting to draw and be creative is all a waste of time.  It makes me wonder if anyone in the industry will ever hire me or if I’ll just end up working some necessity job for the rest of my life.  I can’t tell if it’s because I’m a genuinely bad artist, or if I’m just not doing what they want.  If it’s the other case, I guess I’d better try harder to find out what they want..

This coming semester is full of promise though.  Well.. promise and ass-raping.  Five full on computer classes, ha.  It’s ok though, I’ve been told I need to work on my sculpting and that’s what I’ll do.  One class I’m really excited about is my creature design class.  The teacher for that class is really smart and understanding.  When I took his class before, he was very clear and gave good criticism.  I feel like I’ve learned enough from my modeling class of this past semester to be at least twice as fast as when I first started.  Now that I know what I have to do, I can do it much faster.  Here’s hoping that actually applies.

I want to bring Utopian Theory back so bad I can taste it.. I think about it all the time, the plot, the characters, everything.  It would be so cool to be able to keep up a hobby comic so that drawing doesn’t fall by the wayside.  I also have enough techno-fish to open an Etsy store at this point.  I considered selling prints, but now I think I will just sell the originals.  I have made templates of all the fish, so at least every one could be unique.  How much do you guys think I should sell them for?  If you can’t remember what those are, here’s a link to the old post:Techno-Art!

Anyways, thanks for allowing me the rant. 🙂  This is all stuff that’s been on my mind and probably partially what’s kept me so slow on updates.. Sure hope I am able to change that.